Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
