whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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