I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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