i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
