i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
this hospital has no fireball
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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