I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
