I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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