community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
