dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
