mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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