"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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