I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
