imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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