i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize