3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
