kristin has been a bad kristin
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
