Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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