i permit you to call me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
