2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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