Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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