Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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