North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
