i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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