Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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