My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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