I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
