I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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