Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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