it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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