People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Drunk is not a location!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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