You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
