I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
