sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
