The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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