As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
