What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
