PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
