Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
