There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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