its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
