are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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