i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
