At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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