is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
