Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
