If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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