i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
