I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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