Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
