Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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